Sixteen days. I have sixteen days, minus work and sleep, to finish my husband’s rapier jacket and make two pairs of Viking pants.
The jacket is all cut out and stamped and one arm is put together, but the problem is I decided in my infinite wisdom to try to make a proper lining instead of just three layers sewn together. I’m sure I can figure it out, but it’s going to be different than I’ve done before (without a pattern, anyway). And while simple, the pants are time consuming. Lots of pleats.
I may have to seclude myself these next couple of weeks and just forgo social activities to be able to finish. I can’t allow myself to be sewing at the very last minute to get finished.
But I probably will be, sadly.
I just can’t seem to get anything done on time anymore.
Category: Stress
Slow burn
It’s starting to happen…gradually, but it’s happening. I am starting to get burned out from all the SCA and crafting and writing and work and life in general. I’m hoping the few days off for Estrella War will help, but only time will tell.
I’ve kinda lost interest in a lot of activities. I have to force myself to get my sewing work done. I drag myself through the work day. I avoid exercise when I have the slightest ache or pain whereas before I’d look forward to the chance to work out those aches. I don’t want to go to SCA baronial meetings or do my officer job. I just don’t wanna.
Part of it, I think, is that things have become so stale and routine. Yeah, some of the meetings and events may change, but for the most part it’s work/SCA/sleep. Lather, rinse, repeat. Day in, day out. All. The. Time.
I’m trying to motivate myself. I’m trying to tell myself, Hey, if you get this tunic done you can knock out those pants and then it’s just some embroidery and a couple sleeves to go. I’m trying to tell myself, but I guess I’m not listening.
I hope this is just a brief funk and not a true depressive episode. I have too much on my plate to wallow in self-pity or whatever.
Speaking of that tunic, I guess I’ll get back to work.
Listing forward
Remember that list of things I have to make before Estrella War? Well, it’s still there–and not much has changed. :/
I started on my husband’s fighting tunic, but I made the sleeves a tad too big so that has to be altered before I can put the pieces together (thankfully I assembled the lining first, so I don’t have as much undoing to do). He also wants buttons, so I have to make adjustments for that. The embroidery is coming along but slowly. His rapier hood is larger than mine, with more seams to stitch, so even though I’m nearly done there’s still a good bit of work left on it. I have to stitch the trim he made for my fighting tunic onto the garment before I finish his. I have pants to make still (not complicated, but involved). And there’s a scroll I have to complete in addition to the sewing. I’m hoping to get a good bit of the prep work on that done today between my pre-work waking up time and the scribal class this evening.
There are a couple of things I had wanted to complete that I don’t think I’ll be able to this go around. I had wanted to make a coat of some sort (Viking style, of course) to wear at Estrella, but that’s not going to happen. I won’t be able to get decent material for it prior, and it’s just going to take up too much of my time. So it’ll be a cloak to keep me warm on those cold Estrella nights, at least this war. I had also wanted to make a Viking apron dress and under dress to go with the Viking “treasure beads” I got for Christmas, but that too will take too much time. I suppose the latter is for the better though, because now I can take my time on it and use those as one of my Arts & Sciences entries.
That’s right; I still plan on entering in the A&S competition for our barony, and despite some peoples’ reservations, I plan on competing for Champion. Go big or go home, right? Besides, I have confidence in my abilities, and I have a secret 3rd project in the planning stages that I think will at the very least be interesting to the judges. It sure as hell will be interesting to me to research, and any learning is a good thing. Yeah, there’s always the chance I won’t win, and I might be judged more critically if I enter for Champion and not a couple of Novice pieces, but I don’t care about either of those. I’m in it to prove that I can do it at this point. Go ahead and naysay; there’s enough stubborn Leo in me to push on and keep working towards my goal. And if I win? It’s all cherry at that point.
I keep telling myself that things will slow down after Estrella, but who am I kidding? I’ll be busy busy busy right up until and after A&S. That’s okay, though. I can do it.
A tale to tell
Oops! I did it again … telling, telling, telling. Many authors will relate on this one: the “show, don’t tell” dilemma. I have been particularly guilty of telling too often, and in my rereading of Book 2 (which, granted, is just in its first set of revisions following a very rough first draft) I see that I have quite the workload ahead of me.
I’m getting better at the showing thing, but I have a lot of fixing to do for Book 2 to eliminate the telling. I don’t know how I put so much of it in there without realizing it, but what’s told is told and I have to un-tell it … somehow.
There’s another problem that I see after looking at my work with recently-critiqued eyes: exposition. Yeah. I got some of that going, too. I took it out of Book 1 (based on said critiques), but I worry that the point isn’t going to get across with the way I took it out. There are things that I feel aren’t explained adequately, major plot points, but I’m at a loss as to how to convey the things without telling and without boring the reader. It’s not something I think beyond my ability to do, but the fact that I can’t figure it out right away is frustrating.
It doesn’t help that I think about other series that I’ve read, and that I know the exposition is often there to quickly explain what happened in the last book, a “Previously, on … ” kind of thing that you see in TV shows, if you will. So it happens in publication all the time, right? So–why am I concerned? I guess I’m trying to predict what issues the publishers will have with the next book, and even though I see this type of thing quite frequently when I’m reading I still envision my publishers’ potential comments, and it is throwing me.
Maybe I need to back off and not worry about the second book for right now. Take some (more) time off from it and mull a bit. I don’t know. I think I’m overthinking.
Viral influence
It took getting hit like a ton of bricks to get me to slow down, but I finally took a weekend “off” from the hectic life I’ve been living.
Here’s what happened: I overdid things, as I am wont to do, and I ended up contracting one of those strains of flu not covered by this year’s vaccine. Yep, that’s what it takes to get me to grind to a halt when I’ve been going going going. No events for me, no war practice, no rapier practice, no nothing. Just staying home from work yesterday and staying home from war practice today and tomorrow. Home. No running. No doing…just being.
Okay, maybe a little doing. I’ve been embroidering and sewing, but I’m keeping my activities limited to at-home things that don’t require going out. My body clearly needed the rest, so resting I am.
It feels a bit weird. I have nothing that I absolutely have to be doing right now. As a matter of fact, I’m lying in bed, watching a movie in the dark. No responsibilities. So strange. And you know what? It’s the middle of the day. Almost 3:30 in the afternoon…and I’m not doing anything of worth.
The coming weeks won’t be like this. It’ll take another viral attack to get me to slow down again. There will be more practices, more projects, more more more. I should probably take advantage of this disadvantage and relax as much as possible.
I won’t get an opportunity like this for a while.
Time warp
I’ve got plenty of time to get things done before Estrella War … right?
Maybe … maybe not.
Back when I was in the Yule Feast Crunch (much like Con Crunch, only no convention), I “triaged” my sewing projects, listing the things I need/want to sew or make in the coming months. The goal there was to have a quick visual of what needs to be done so I can prioritize.
I have failed in prioritizing.
First, I was supposed to make another bento box for an SCA tournament prize. (That project is cut out but not assembled yet.) Then, I was going to make new garb for Estrella War so we’d have more outfit choices. I was also going to make my husband a new fighting tunic. The list goes on, but those are the ones that were most necessary before Estrella–which is next month. Five weeks, more or less. While I still can get all those things done before, I realized today just how much of a crunch I’ve gotten myself into–again.
Work is hectic. SCA life is hectic. Oh yeah, and there’s the nasty cold I’ve contracted. Yay. I’ve also started embroidering my husband’s rapier mask hood for him … very time consuming, but I’m going to rationalize that by telling myself I can do hand embroidery just about anywhere, any time there’s decent lighting and a place to sit. The other stuff? Not so much, at least not at this stage of the process.
Time’s a funny thing. You think you have plenty of it, so you go about doing other things that may or may not be as crucial as the things with rapidly-approaching deadlines. Then it starts catching up to you; first you have two months (plenty of time!), then six weeks, then five-four-three-two-one-oh-shit-time’s-run-out-and-I’m-not-done! Yeah. It’s like that. I guess Einstein was right–it’s relative. Right now, I’m experiencing time at a slower pace, so I feel like there’s lots of time left. However, the closer to the event horizon (a.k.a. Estrella War) I get, the faster time moves. Tick-tock, man. Tick-tock.
I’m not gonna lie; I’ll probably be sewing right up until we leave. It’s just what I do, I guess. I’ve always been that way. School projects? Research papers? Yep, that’s been my modus operandi. Time warps in on itself until it’s almost gone, and I’m caught scrambling.
One of these days I’m going to learn to use time to my advantage, and I’m going to finally be finished before the last second.
One of these days.
Time to get cracking.
The great debate
I want to branch out, but am I diving in too deep?
Let me explain:
There’s this thing in the medieval reenactment group that’s called “Arts and Sciences,” which is basically focusing on medieval and Renaissance period art and, well, science. As science-y as they got back then, anyway. There are also annual competitions on a baronial and kingdom level. I was considering entering my latest embroidery project as an arts project in the next competition (which is in July). The problem? I found out today that I have to enter in three different categories in order to compete.
Okay, there’s the embroidery, sure, but what else can I do? Garb? Yeah, I can probably make some garment(s) for a secondary entry, but the third thing? Maybe … illumination? I could try that, but my drawing/painting style isn’t really up to even medieval par yet. I can make pretty scrolls, but it’s nothing that could be considered a medieval style. And as far as calligraphy goes, I can trace the letters fine and mimic the strokes, but I’m not actually doing true calligraphy … yet. Can I get there by July? Eh, maybe. Maybe.
Decisions, decisions. I really want to enter. Like, really. I haven’t entered an art competition, seriously entered something, since I was a kid … and that was, like, when they kind of made the whole class enter. I just never had the confidence. Now I want to, though. I want to make myself break out of that comfort zone. It’s just–what will my third thing be?
I have a few months, but the clock is ticking. I know there’s some kind of deadline for entry, and there are research papers involved, not to mention the second and third projects to make.
As if I needed more on my plate lately. *Sigh*
EDIT: I have been told that the three-entry thing is for Champion, not just for regular entry. I have the option of entering one or two pieces as a novice, so that takes a little stress off…but now I want to try just to see if I can. Plus, I learned that there are other categories that I didn’t even know existed, like poetry/prose, drawing, painting (not illumination), and leatherwork. So I have options, and ones that I’m more comfortable with. So “the great debate” is still on, but it’s a slightly different debate now…
Pacing myself
After reading through the latest beta read/critique on Book 1, I think I’ve worked out most of the bugs that were found…except for one pesky thing: pacing.
Apparently my pacing is off somehow, though I’m not sure how exactly. Are things happening too fast? Too slowly? I tried reading the book through in its entirety, but I guess since I’m not unbiased I don’t see what the publisher is talking about. I’ve got to learn how to read through a reader’s eyes, not through an author’s eyes.
It’s tricky stuff. When you’re writing, you either think it’s crap or you think it’s brilliant. Clearly I hit the “brilliant” stage too soon, because there was a lot of work left to do on it when I got it back. Still, I think I can get it all polished enough for publication if I just keep working at it. Nose to the grindstone and all that. 😉
There’s another thing that is going to give me a lot of work in the coming weeks/months: the ending. I had to rewrite/expand on the ending to make it stronger, which means most (if not all) of Book 2 needs to be rewritten. Especially the climax–that part hinges on a factor that is negated in the new ending of Book 1, which means I either have to un-negate the factor or find a workaround…which I think is doable. Maybe. Probably.
Once these revisions are sent in to the publisher, I’m going to seriously get cracking on Book 2 and revising it to the point of readability. Submittability. Sense and sensibility. Or something.
As for Book 3 and onward? Those are still there, simmering in the back of my brain, existing in the grey matter until I put fingertips to keyboard and let it all out.
Soon.
A case of noncompliance
It’s been a strange few weeks. Yule prep and Christmas, work and sewing and events and insomnia and Goddess knows what else I’m forgetting. I haven’t felt “bad,” per se, but I’ve been feeling…off.
Could it be my crazy schedule? Possibly…or possibly it’s the fact that I haven’t been the most compliant patient in the world lately. Yeah, I know, for the meds to work you have to keep taking them. I just haven’t felt like it. Stupid, lame excuse, I know, but there you have it. I just don’t feel like taking my pills half the time.
Granted, sometimes I get home late from an event or outing and am too tired to take my nighttime pills, but I have no real excuse for missing the morning doses (which are when the majority of my bipolar meds are taken). I just don’t feel like it. Did I say that already? Yeah, well, it bears repeating. My routine has been thrown off course, and I need to get it back.
The early mornings? Still there, but they’ve been chock full of cramming for Yule and Christmas deadlines. With those two things out of the way now I should soon have my quiet time to myself again. I do have another deadline (revisions due to the publisher), but it’s not one that has me panicked like the others did. I have sewing that needs to be done, too, but it’s nothing too terribly pressing. Maybe a month, month and a half before the next project is needed.
Maybe once I get back to my routine my “off” feeling will go away. Or once I get back to routinely taking my pills. Either way, hopefully I’ll be back to my blogging, tweeting, sewing, writing self.
I guess I can get back to it. I can start behaving again. It’s not like things are going to be crazy forever. I just have to be good and take my meds like I’m supposed to.
I just don’t feel like it.
Hanging by a thread
It’s almost here: the Yule feast that my husband’s in charge of cooking. The theme (which you may recall if you follow this blog) is Italian Renaissance. As Viking personas, we had no Italian Ren garb. None. So I’ve been scrambling to make two full outfits.
Did I mention I have no clue how to make period-accurate Italian Ren garb? Yeah. There’s that. I had patterns for my husband’s clothes (which, being “costume” patterns and not “historical” patterns, are not quite period-accurate either), but I needed a lot of help with my garments. Thankfully there are some really kind, really helpful ladies in our barony who were willing to give me their time and attention so I could be properly attired.
I’ve still got a few things to finish, but with (hopefully) a half day at work today, I should be able to finish everything in time. I have to:
- re-sew the snaps on the stomacher of my dress because the dress ended up needing to be taken in a bit more (yay!)
- add the buttons to my husband’s pants (and the belt loops he requested for extra security; not “period,” but they’ll keep the pants up lol)
- finish the sleeves, collar, and hem on his shirt
- add as much fancy trim as I have time to slap on there
- iron the damn things
Once the sewing and ironing are done, I have to bust my butt to clean up the craft room and transform it into a guest room again. I have accumulated quite a bit more fabric since the last time I cleaned/straightened in there, so it looks like a trip to Wal-Mart or some such place is in my future so I can get more storage for all that crap. Then, once our guest is gone, I have to bring things back out again so I can try to get the one Christmas present I plan on sewing done before the holiday. I doubt I’ll be able to, though, and it makes me feel bad. I know I had a lot going on lately–sickness, injury (oh yeah, forgot to mention: I broke another bone on my foot back at the last war event), work, and garb–but that doesn’t stop the guilt from eating at me.
That’s not all in the sewing department; I have gifts for the women who helped me, a tournament prize, more garb (with a February deadline this time–easier Viking stuff), and assorted odds and ends that I want to make. Seriously, I have a list. Typed up. Because I’m a nerd.
Why am I typing this instead of cranking out garb? Well, I’ve gotten to a step that I can potentially skip, but I need to wait for my husband to wake up so I can ask him if he minds if I omit the step. He’s been stressed enough about the event, though, so I’ll let him sleep. I can find other things to do until then.
But as soon as he’s up and has made a decision, it’s back to the grind.